I Can't Weight

I can't believe what a pansy I've become, I want to lose another 20 pounds before I begin umpiring this spring plus get in better shape for obvious reasons, I'll be 72 in August. I want my decisions on the field to be respected not attributed to sympathy for the old man. After maintaining an Atlas like image for most of my life (I was shaped like a globe) it has fallen into a state of disrepair. I have in my gymnauseum all the tools needed to revamp this glob of flesh back to a simulated human but for the moment decline to use them because quite frankly the basement temperature is a bit cold and I fear the formation of sweatcicles on my body. I did overhear a dastardly plot last evening bein concocted by my wife and daughter, evidently they will add to my collection another piece of equipment, a space heater. DAMN, FOILED AGAIN!

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